I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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