don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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