By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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