I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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