So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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