At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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