I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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