Having a random hookup so left but love u
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
