She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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