k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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