chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
