you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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