I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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