i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
