and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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