My first STD was from a foam party
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There's even glitter on my cock...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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