On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
