You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Less talking, more tequila
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.