How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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