Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize