I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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