just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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