Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize