I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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