one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
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He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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