and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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