xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
