i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
