So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We have so much sex to catch up on
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
