I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name