just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.