i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.