I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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