She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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