i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
