im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
