the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
