So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
