You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
