Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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