I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize