thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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