arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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