operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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