you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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