im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
