@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
