were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
