I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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