I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize