yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
