you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
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You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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