Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need water and some morals
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
