why do cheetos always look like penises
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
