wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So vagazzling was a success
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
