Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
