I just made out with a guy for $7.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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