I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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