school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
