Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you remember whose house we're in?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize