I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
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You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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