So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
