We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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