I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
